He Friendzoned Me but Gets Jealous - How to Get out of Control?

JAN 06, 2023 AT 07:42 AM

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Some guys are pretty strange in relationships. They may not know what they want and they may not appreciate what they have until they reach a certain age limit. So, when your relationship becomes more like friendship with no romance between you, you may be sure – this is the friendzone. You still hang out together, you have the common company of friends, you smile at each other and text each other sometimes, but this is it.

And you may feel positive about this, too. Now you can hang out with that handsome guy from your job. But once you start doing that, your ex shows a lot of jealousy and is very concerned with the situation. Why does this happen?

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Today, we’ll tell you why a guy may friendzone you and then still be jealous and interfere with your new relationship and be toxic all the time.

A guy friendzoned you – what does this mean?

First of all, let’s figure out what a friendzone is. In most cases, guys don’t want to be friends with their ex-girlfriends. And sometimes, when a girl actually thinks that she was friendzoned, it only means that a guy became much colder in a relationship and stopped paying that much attention to her.

For the guy, it may still be like he is in a relationship with you. And this explains why he is jealous about your new dates.

If this is the case, what you need to do is to speak to him. Try to clear it up a bit and see what happens between you. It’s important because when one person thinks that the relationship is over and the other still thinks you are together, this is not going to lead to anything good.

So, one of the reasons why a guy friendzoned you and still keeps being jealous is that this guy just doesn’t understand that everything is over. You should talk and clear everything up for both of you.

This is a toxic guy and you should avoid him

One of the other reasons why your ex may be jealous of you is because he is a toxic person. He thinks that it’s you who spoilt the relationship and he still believes you will come back to him once you understand how good he was. And he may even start dating someone else but he will still try to ruin all your tries to build a new relationship.

The best thing you can do in this case is to just break up with this person for good and all. Don’t see this guy, don’t visit places where he may be, just cut him out of your life. This will definitely help you get better after an ill relationship and build something new over time.

Toxic people will spend years proving to you that you were wrong. Being friends with such a guy is one of the worst mistakes you could do. Even if you have common friends, meet them at a different time and try to never see this guy again. This is the best scenario for your future life.

He still loves you but the relationship went wrong

There is another possible situation. This guy may be in love with you but something hurt him badly when you were dating. That’s why he decided to step back because he felt danger in the relationship. You may have decided he just doesn’t want to be with you and you started dating someone else.

Of course, this would hurt anyone, especially if the person is really sensitive. Being sensitive is not only true for girls, so guys can sometimes be too sensitive but they try to never show this to other people. Just try to understand what happened and why he still feels jealous about your new relationship. Maybe, you just need an open talk.

But even if this person still feels something towards you, it doesn’t mean you need to have the relationship again. Sometimes, it’s better to move on for both of you. This depends on your feelings. Girls tend to feel a lot of positive things toward guys who are very sensitive and vulnerable. But it’s not always a good thing to do if you don’t love this person. Staying with him just because you feel sorry for him is never a good plan.

It's all about his feeling of possessiveness

A lot of guys really have this very negative trait that’s called possessiveness. Even if they stop dating a girl, they still feel this girl belongs to them. Sometimes, it traps this guy and makes him obsessed with your new relationship.

It’s not hard to understand that a guy feels jealous of you because of his possessiveness. First of all, he initiated the split up. Secondly, he always tries to be in the same company as you. You have common friends, he even goes to the same cafes as you. He tries to control all your life. He may call you whenever he wants, he will text you these stupid “WYD” messages showing the wish to control you even more.

Then, when you start a new relationship, he will act like he is the most unfortunate person in the world. He will tell your friends that you betrayed him, he will try to chase your new boyfriend and he will tell you gross things about him. He will call you all the time and tell you how bad he feels.

The worst thing you can do is to try and comfort him. There is no way you can comfort such a person. The only thing you should do is break all connections and keep living your life.

What should you do if you feel your ex-boyfriend is jealous?

There is no perfect plan for this situation because all relationships are different. If you have the possibility to see a psychologist, this would be great. They will give you certain tips on how to act in this situation after understanding what’s going on between you and your ex.

But in most cases, it would be enough to follow these simple steps:

  • First of all, figure out what you feel toward this guy and whether you want to keep dating him or not.
  • Then, ask this person to have a talk. This shouldn’t be around your friends, just meet in a calm place and talk with your ex to figure everything out.
  • Directly ask this person why he is jealous and tell him that you don’t feel well when he’s doing this.
  • When you are talking, try to figure out what’s happening between you. Clear the situation and decide whether you both want to be together or not.
  • Build your personal borders with this person and ask him to respect these borders.
  • If nothing helps, just tell this guy that you are not going to keep in touch with him anymore and ask him to not call or text you.

We understand this can be hard. But unfortunately, we know a lot of examples when this obsession with ex-girlfriend poisoned the life of both people. It means that you will have to make a choice and follow your decision without any hesitation.

The worst thing is to not set the borders and keep letting this guy intrude on your life and ruin your new relationship.

Final words

You should always rely on your feelings. When a girl sees a guy love her, she may become too emotional and let those feelings bring everything back. But in most cases, the relationship that has already broken up, won’t be good anymore. This means you should make a hard choice and fence yourself off those problems that come with a toxic ex-boyfriend. Unless you still love him and want to give him a chance.