JAN 25, 2023 AT 08:38 AM
"I love you". This three-word sentence makes the world go round. Wars have been fought, and empires toppled. Poems and songs continue to be written in the name of love. It makes one wonder how genuine these declarations of love are.
When guys say "I love you", do they mean it? And can you trust a man who is too quick to say it? How soon is too soon? When is the timing just right? This article will come in handy if you ask yourself these and a million other questions.
We will take you through everything you need to know about your current predicament, including:
- Can you trust a man who is quick to say I love you?
- What makes men (prematurely) declare their undying love?
- When is the right time to share feelings of love?
- How to tell if a declaration of love is genuine
Can you trust a man who is quick to say, "I love you"?
The short answer is maybe. If you believe it, take care to proceed with cautious baby steps. Saying I love you too early in a relationship is a classic red flag for valid reasons. It is considered manipulative or needy. It plays on your emotions and puts you under immense pressure to respond favorably.
While most people desire to experience the highly touted all-consuming intoxication of love at first sight we read about, saying it too soon is mostly considered ingenuity. Most well-balanced people will run for the hills, even if they believe the hasty love declaration.
When is the Best Time to Declare Love?
The awkwardness of one unrequited love confession may be enough to compel some people to respond, “I love you too,” even when they do not. Hopefully, you have not been fooled by all the romantic movies and novels that sell love at first sight to doe-eyed believers. Most people are alarmed and even turned off to hear these three little words before at least three months of dating.
You are right to suspect ingenuity on the side of a guy who blurts out I love you too soon. However, this does not automatically mean that he is an up-to-no-good rascal. There is a slim chance you are experiencing the once-in-lifetime storybook type of romance. Wouldn’t it be a mighty shame if you resisted Prince Charming’s clumsy attempt to sweep you off your feet?
What Could Make a Man Prematurely Declare His Undying Love?
1) Golden Ticket Into Your Pants
Men are aware that women are highly emotional. Some consider it easier to play and prey on emotions using triggering words like these. They find it more uncomplicated than investing the time and energy necessary to form a genuine emotional connection.
If the declaration of love came out of the blue, and you haven’t yet had sex, do not rule out the possibility that ‘desperate times call for desperate measures’. This is most likely to happen if you withhold sex because you ‘aren’t there yet’.
That said, a hasty I love you after a night out on the town should be evaluated differently from one that slips out when doing something mundane like the dishes. You will have to use your spidey senses to infer the truth. If detective work is not your thing, simply ask, “are you just saying that to get into my pants?” and watch their reaction.
2) Bowing to Societal Expectations.
Society expects men to take the lead in a relationship. This reason may push guys to be forward and confess how they feel earlier than usual. It is their way of trying to take charge of the relationship.
Most men want to have control of the relationship. They assume confessing their feelings first makes them the more dominant partner. Such men are usually genuine in their profession of love. However, look out because, though genuine, such a declaration may signify a controlling and chauvinistic partner.
3) Infatuated by Mind-blowing Sex
Yes, you read it right. Good sex makes men want to say I love you. Men may try and convince themselves of their stoicism, but deep down, most remain sensitive and passionate, especially during sex. Take such a declaration seriously at your own risk. Your partner is most likely referring to a fleeting momentary feeling.
For all you know, it could have been a reflexive or subconscious action. Maybe he says it every time he loses control. You cannot be sure unless you ask. If you had rather not ask, it is safer to assume it never happened. This type of I love you should be taken as a 'thank you for the good sex, and I hope you keep it up.'
4) A drunk moment
We all remember the one time we got drunk and said more than we ought to. Don't put a drunken moment above a man next time he texts you in the middle of the night, saying he loves you. It's the alcohol talking, not him.
Maybe you hung out and had a good time, you all had fun, and he enjoyed your company. At the end of it, out of nowhere, he says he loves you. Please don't let those butterflies in your stomach just yet.
Chances are he is riding high on endorphins and cannot think straight. He is just excited and confused, loving the good time with you and loving you. This happens a lot. Remember, such feelings are likely temporary ad will fade as the memory of the moment weakens.
Red Flags that Prove the Love Confession is not Genuine
We all have a lot of love to give and enjoy being loved. Notwithstanding, 'I love you' should not be said lightly. One ought to put a lot of consideration into it before confessing their feelings to someone else.
Before throwing the L word into the messy mix, you should be 99% sure that the other person shares your emotions. How and when someone says they love you will tell you if they are romantic or if it is a red flag.
- Lust at first sight
While we strive to hope for romantic love-at-first-sight encounters, we ought to remember that real life is not like in the movies. While we can fall for a stranger, saying we have fallen in love with the stranger is a lie.
We fall in love with our partner’s character, hobbies, vulnerabilities, and personality. Outward appearance is only enough to arouse sexual desire. Do not let your ego trap you into believing hasty love confessions simply because ‘you have that effect on people’.
- Over the speed limit
If every milestone in your relationship has been at breakneck speed, you should be wary of the love confession. Not even a first date on a tropical island should end with “I love you”. A rule of thumb is to wait at least three months after knowing a lady before he can honestly say he loves her. This is the least amount of time it takes you to know someone. You must be sure you can love that person at their worst and best for eternity.
- You Haven’t Had Sex
It is not impossible for a man to love a woman he hasn’t had sex with. Unfortunately, we are no longer living in the chaste ancient days. As mentioned above, a man may say I love you to manipulate you into having sex with him, especially for the first time.
A guy that says he loves you out of the blue cannot be trusted with a lady's heart; his love will most likely disappear as quickly as it appeared. Easy come, easy go.
Love is a feeling that has to be generated and then cultivated before it can be confessed and nurtured. Before a guy says he loves a girl, he should be able to have demonstrated the same in actions consistently over some time.
So next time someone wants to tell you how they feel about you, ladies, ask yourselves how long you have known each other, and his actions towards you can be interpreted as love.