Why Am I So Irritable and Want to Be Alone? Here Are the Top 5 Reasons

FEB 01, 2023 AT 02:50 PM


Being irritable and wanting to spend time alone is a normal part of life. The irritability is characterized by frustrations, anger, and annoyance over small things. It's a normal feeling when our emotions are heightened, and we need space from other people to process the feelings. Usually, the feeling goes away after some time; hence it’s not something you should be worried about.

However, being irritable and having a strong desire to be alone all the time can signify a severe issue. In this post, we will answer why you feel so irritable and want to be alone.


Besides irritability being a normal response to seemingly stressful situations, sometimes feelings of irritation are signs of a mental or health condition. For instance, young children feel irritable when unwell or exhausted.

Notably, since feeling irritable is uncomfortable, you need to identify whether it’s normal or not and the main reasons you may be feeling that way. Here are some possible reasons why people become irritable:

1) Hormonal Change

If you are experiencing irritability without any explainable reason, you may be experiencing hormonal imbalance. Although not easy to identify, hormonal imbalance can cause you to feel irritable. Notably, irritability and mood changes due to hormonal changes are more common in women than men and are prominent during different stages of their lives.

For instance, during puberty, menstruation, pregnancy, menopause, and breastfeeding, irritability episodes will be common. Also, the severity of these irritable signs varies from one person to another.

2) Stress

Naturally, irritability is a response to a stressful situation. Therefore, stress can be the cause of your irritability. But what causes stress? Stress can be from various sources, including unfavorable working conditions, family issues, lack of quality sleep, or poor diet. To rule out you are not experiencing a stressful situation at the moment, it’s essential to check whether all the areas of your life are alright. If there is something wrong, then it could be the reason you feel stressed. 

3) Depression

Depression is a mood disorder that affects your thoughts, behavior, mood, and general well-being. Usually, depression is a severe condition that affects how you feel about yourself, those around you, and what is happening around you. It's usually more severe than the usual feelings of being sad. Notably, if not treated, depression usually worsens until it becomes chronic. Therefore, if you notice symptoms of constant negative thoughts and foul moods that last for weeks without getting better, then you should seek professional help. 

4) Fatigue

Fatigue is a common cause of irritability. If you always feel tired, then it might be helpful to try some ways to reduce fatigue. For instance, you can try to sleep more, especially if you get a few hours of sleep per night. Also, find the best ways to reduce or manage workload to get more hours of rest. 

5) Do you Like Spending Time Alone?

Some people love spending much time alone and feel irritable when around others. Usually, alone time is a beautiful and usual way to recharge mental batteries, especially for introverts.

They are productive and perform at their best when alone. Importantly, if you notice you always love spending time alone and spending time with other people is stressful, it could be expected. However, you can find a balance. Also, always focus on things that are helpful to your overall growth when you are alone. 

Signs Your Irritability is not Normal, and You Need Help

While feeling irritable is a good thing and desiring to spend time alone is normal, sometimes, it’s a sign of an underlying issue. Mostly, usual irritability is manageable. It’s not frequent, and when it happens, you can quickly get over it by spending alone time while practicing mindfulness.

However, sometimes, it might be frequent and severe, and spending time alone only makes it worse. But how do you differentiate between normal feelings of frustration to severe conditions such as depression or any other related health conditions? 

When we set aside some time for ourselves, we often find ourselves more creative or productive than if we had been working in an environment full of people. The desire for such alone time is healthy and encouraged.

However, if you realize you need to spend time alone, but you have negative thoughts whenever you are alone, you need help. If you're feeling irritable more often than usual, it could be a sign that there's something else going on in your life. You should seek immediate help since it could get chronic and severe if not addressed.

To know if your irritability is a sign of something serious, you need to observe how you feel and whether you are improving or worsening. Apart from being irritable more frequently now than in the past, there are many other signs to check.

The following are some of the other signs there is something wrong:

  • Sweating
  • A lot of unexplainable anger
  • Severe headache
  • Fast breathing
  • Fever
  • Fast heart rate
  • Deterioration of your performance at work or school

If you notice any of the above signs when you feel irritated, it’s not normal, and you should seek help immediately. 

How to Cope with Irritability

If you are feeling irritable, you will notice, and people you spend time with will notice, too, significantly if there is a change in how you behave and react to situations. Notably, while the usual feelings of irritability are easily manageable, unexplained irritability and mood swings are not easy to deal with. However, there are proven coping mechanisms you practice to ensure the irritability does not get severe or interfere with your performance at work or the quality of your relationships.

The following are some ways to cope with irritability and lead a healthy life.  

  • Check your thoughts. While irritability is a normal feeling and goes away on its own after some time, at times, you need to check your thoughts. Usually, negative thoughts aggravate irritability. Therefore, if you always have negative thoughts, you need to change that. 
  • Get quality sleep. Sometimes lack enough sleep contributes to your irritability. Before you consider other remedies, check whether you are having enough quality sleep. If not, then you can change your sleeping habits to ensure you get sufficient rest. 
  • Practice deep breathing. Practicing deep breathing exercises is one of the ways to relax and improve your mood. The breathing exercise helps you focus on the present moment and reduces anxiety. 
  • Try to identify the cause. In most instances, it’s easy to identify the triggers. You only need to be observant of some of the things that may be causing the feelings of irritability. After identifying what triggers irritability, you can pay attention to avoid the triggers to manage the situation. 
  • Seek help. If you notice that you are irritable most of the time, and it’s affecting your daily life, you can seek help. You can speak to a trusted friend or family member about your feelings. They will likely support you in managing your feelings. Also, you can seek help from a therapist. 


Based on the above discussion, it’s evident that if you’re feeling irritable and want to spend time alone, it’s a normal part of life for most people. However, if your mood starts getting worse or if you feel like you don’t want to be around other people all the time, it might be a sign of something bigger going on in your life.

It could be related to your hormones, exposure to stressful situations, or depression. If so, talk with someone about what might be causing these feelings so they can help figure out how best to handle them. 

Lastly, if you are feeling overwhelmed by everything in your life, and it’s getting worse, don’t keep it to yourself. You need help coping and managing the situation so that it doesn't cause more problems down the road.

Therefore, speak with a professional who specializes in helping people deal with mental issues. Also, be intentional in focusing on the positive things and hope that all shall be well. That way, your moods will drastically improve.