No Contact After Argument – Did He Leave Me? Here's What You May Do

JAN 18, 2023 AT 02:02 PM


Every couple is bound to have arguments. After all, the individuals in the relationship have different value systems and mindsets. Some arguments are small and pass uneventfully. Others are blow-ups that get every carried away. It is possible to have a big fight over a small thing and a small one over a big thing. It all depends on your communication skills and the issue at hand.

If your partner is giving you the silent treatment after a huge fight, it is natural to be concerned. Your thoughts may be racing all over remote possibility land. You need to stop yourself from going there by grounding yourself. Remember that an argument is unpleasant for everyone involved. We all deal with negative feelings in different ways.


This article will help you wrap your head around the various possibilities. Read on to learn more about:

  • What it means when your partner ignores you after an argument.
  • Reasons your partner may be ignoring you.
  • What to do when your partner ignores you.

What Does Silence Mean After an Argument?

Most people use silence as a coping mechanism during or after confrontations. If your partner is the type to shy away from conflict, they are probably assessing the event and sorting through their feelings in a calm setting.

Should your partner fall into the category that constantly argues it out to the end, their storming off could mean they need a breather before picking up where you left off.

At times, going silent is better than continuing the argument. Arguments lead to offensive words and acts that both parties regret later. Silence may not be so bad compared to some alternatives.

However, the silence should not carry on too long. Sooner rather than later, you will need to touch base with your partner. The sooner you find out where their head is, the better it is. You should not linger in limbo longer than necessary.

When your partner maintains silence, they should have the decency to project how long you should wait before contacting them. Your partner’s right to heal and sort their feelings can be balanced with your need to settle the issue as soon as possible.

Reasons Your Partner is Ignoring You

There are numerous reasons your partners may go dark after a fight. The most popular include:

1) They are pained by your actions or theirs

If the argument was caused by something hurtful, you did to your partner; they may need some time to get over it. Some actions cut deep. It is best to give your partner time to stop the bleeding before raising the issue. Insisting on continuing with the argument could result in unpredictable outcomes.

If your partner is not ready to hear your apology or rationalizations, hang onto them. When your hurt or angry partner chooses to retreat, allow them.

If the argument was caused by your partner hurting you, they might be embarrassed to confront and admit their actions. Their silence is probably buying time to gather the courage to face you.

Forcing such a person to talk about the problem before they are ready may cause them to tell you what you want to hear instead of what they are afraid to say. Assuming you do not wish to be deceived, allow your guilty partner the space they require to sort through their feelings.

2) They need time to evaluate the situation

A lot is said during arguments. Some people need time to assess the argument and its cause before making their next move. This is a good thing. When people think about an issue instead of acting compulsively, they will likely make healthier decisions.

Being around your partner after a fight will likely prevent you from calming down. It may also cloud your thinking, should you make up (or fight some more) before you finish your thought process. People sometimes need time and space to make decisions they feel comfortable with.

3) They do not want to escalate the situation

Some people, especially those with anger management issues, step away from arguments to keep the situation from escalating. If your partner is prone to rage, you know it is best to allow them the time they need to cool down after an argument.

The last thing you should do is keep calling and texting them. You should also not think about tracking them down and confronting them. A partner who decides to avoid the other after a fight is likely struggling with their emotions, so it is wise to give them space.

4) They are avoiding giving you some tough news

It is also possible that they have come to a harsh conclusion and are avoiding sharing this with you. Your partner may want to take a break and press pause on your relationship; not quite the same as a breakup, but still, quite challenging news to deliver.

They may also have decided to call it quits after the argument. Only they do not know how to tell you the news. So they ignore you for as long as possible, hoping you will go away on your own.

If you suspect this is the case, send your partner a text with an easy out and see if they take the bait. For example, text them that it is okay if they want to break up. If they reply, then you will know for sure.

What to Do When Your Partner Ignores You After an Argument

If your partner ignores you, you should weigh your next action carefully. Doing the wrong thing could ruin the relationship even further. Respecting your partner's request for space gives you the best shot at amicable conflict resolution.

Here are some healthy things you can do when your partner ignores you after an argument:

1) Assess the situation without jumping to conclusions

You cannot know with certainty why your partner is ignoring you. Your best chance of figuring it out is assessing the situation objectively. If you cannot spot the cause of the argument, try speaking with someone who knows both of you well. They may point out things you may have missed entirely.

Jumping to conclusions is guaranteed to make the situation worse. It may cause you to make false accusations or act out to get even. Such events complicate the argument you were having even further. Try to trust your partner and give them the benefit of the doubt.

2) Communicate Your Respect for the Boundaries

Once you accept that your partner doesn't want to interact with you, communicate this in the most discreet way possible. Inform your partner that even though their silence is troubling you, you have decided to allow them space and time. Do not discuss the reasons for the fight; simply make it clear that you are sorry and eager to speak once they are ready.

3) Keep Yourself Busy

Once you accept your situation, you must keep your mind off your partner. Great distractions include family, work, hobbies, and passion projects. You should be productive while waiting for your partner to reach out. Turning into a heap of emotional distress will not make them more likely to contact you sooner.

Hanging out with people who love you will boost your self-esteem and improve your emotions. They may also lend a listening ear and give helpful suggestions because they may have noticed some issues in your relationship that you haven't.

4) Consider what you will say when your partner is ready to speak.

As you finish your time on the bench, you should review your game plan for when you get back in. If you cannot frame your thoughts and feelings, try writing them down. You must be ready to accept your faults and point out your partners when the time comes.

Both of you had a part to play in the disagreement. You must be ready to own your guilt. Practicing your heartfelt apology is also a good idea.