Online Boyfriend: We Explain Why It Can Be Both Good and Dangerous

JAN 26, 2023 AT 11:13 AM


Millions of people have embraced online dating as the new norm. How else could apps like Tinder and Bumble rake in the big bucks? If you are on the fence about getting an online boyfriend, this article will help you make up your mind.

For those that already have an online boyfriend, our discussion will help you evaluate your relationship. You can look forward to reading everything you need to know about the pros and cons of having an online boyfriend.


First Things First: What Should You Expect From Your Online Boyfriend?

Before we get into the advantages and disadvantages of having an online boyfriend, it helps to understand their role. Urban dictionary defines an online boyfriend as someone you develop strong feelings for despite never having met them. If you are skeptical that such an intimate bond can be formed online, only attempt if you are ready to be proven wrong.

You and your online boyfriend should communicate regularly. It is the only way to catch up on each other's lives and provide emotional support. You could binge TV shows together, read the same books, and play interactive online games together. Your online boyfriend may not be able to do all the things that a normal boyfriend would, but they can compensate by ensuring you connect deeply.

Pros of Having an Online Boyfriend

1. Delight in the Convenience

If you are the type who is always running from one appointment to the next, you may need more time to invest in a traditional relationship. It could also be that you live in a remote location or without your preferred type of mate.

Whatever the situation, your online boyfriend will travel with you wherever you go. You do not need to feel guilty for being late for a date because you were stuck in traffic or got late at work. All you have to do is pull out your phone or computer and get started. The convenience of online dating cannot be understated.

Once you and your online boyfriend learn each other's daily routine, you can portion some time for calling, texting and video chatting. You will also have more time on your hands because you do not need to cook, clean or doll up for your online boyfriend yet.

2. Set the Pace

People who like to develop their relationship slowly will feel right at home with an online boyfriend. All too often, people jump into the physical aspect of relationships at the expense of bonding on an emotional level.

Having an online boyfriend eliminates the risk of getting into each other's pants before minds. You will have a chance to know everything about your online boyfriend before being put in a compromising position.

Getting to know more about each other ensures that couples do not make poor or regrettable decisions. While some people meet in a nightclub, wake up together, and proceed to have a healthy and happy relationship, this daring leap off a high cliff is not for everyone.

3. Be the Boss

It is easier to retain control when dating online as opposed to traditionally. Things are way less likely to get ugly or super complicated. Whether looking for a serious date-to-marry relationship or just testing the waters, an online boyfriend will work out great.

An online boyfriend is much easier to break things off with. You will not need to think about all his family and friends or what they will think of you. You can easily make a clean break whenever the situation grows tiresome. Similarly, taking things to the next level, e.g. meeting in real life, is pretty simple too.

4. Spoilt for Choice

An online boyfriend can hardly be as controlling or jealous as one in your community. If you want to explore your options, an online boyfriend - or more, wink - may be just what the doctor ordered.

Nothing stops you from basking in the attention of all the guys responding to your profile. As discussed above, you are in control and can stop things at any moment. However, ensure you read up on all online safety rules before casting your net to capture them all.

Cons of Having an Online Boyfriend

1. Catfishing Love Scammers

Online dating sites are teeming with ingenious characters who want to win your heart and empty your bank account. This is the most dangerous aspect of getting an online boyfriend. How do you think he is for real?

If you think you are above being love scammed, you should know that most victims have a similar mindset. It is likely what made them fish in a barrel. Luckily, protecting yourself from these criminals is easier than you'd think. Never provide your personal information online, and make it clear that you NEVER send money to anyone you meet online.

2. Trust Issues

Though trust issues are a complex matter in most relationships, they are even peskier in an online relationship. Can you trust your online boyfriend, who he says he is on his profile? People experienced in online dating know to take everything with a generous pinch of salt.

It is much harder to detect deception online compared to face-to-face. How should you pick up on your online boyfriend ogling some other person? You will have difficulty picking up telling facial expressions, gestures, or even pauses when you never communicate face to face.

You will have to trust that your online boyfriend is who he says he is. Further, you will need to believe everything he tells about his life. It will be impossible to countercheck his story if you are not part of his community. You cannot ask his friends or colleagues for crucial background information. If your online boyfriend is not 100% genuine, you may not figure it out before you get too involved.

3. Lack of Physical Intimacy

All the XOXOs will not compensate for the feeling of being hugged and kissed in the flesh. If you are the type to value physical intimacy in a relationship, an online boyfriend may not be the right choice for you. You are likely to feel neglected and ignored, no matter his reassurances.

Cybersex works for some couples. You and your online boyfriend can set up a date where you can get as intimate as possible. If cybersex sounds awkward or does not float your boat, you could develop your relationship online and cross the physical line whenever ready.

Lack of physical intimacy is why most online and long-distance relationships do not work out. One or both parties may weaken over time and have their needs met by another person.

4. Blending Reality and Fantasy

A danger of having an online boyfriend is the difficulty separating reality and fantasy. Your online boyfriend may look very different without filters or screens separating you. Additionally, online dating makes it difficult to pick up on a person's quirks.

There is a danger that you only love your online boyfriend because you haven't had the full experience. This makes you more likely to hyper-focus on what you like and ignore potential red flags. In the end, you may build up your online boyfriend to someone much more impressive than reality.


Much like a traditional boyfriend, your online boyfriend will present a mixed bag of pros and cons. On the one hand, no one will sulk when you go out for girl's night, but on the other hand, no one will be anxiously awaiting your return.

One man's meat is another man's poison. The right choice for you depends on your personality, dating history, and unique circumstances. Consider how you feel about each of these advantages and disadvantages to make the right choice. If you cannot make up your mind, talk to a relative or friend, you trust to broaden your perspective.