We Make Eye Contact but Never Talk: Here's How to Get Things Going

DEC 06, 2022 AT 03:26 AM

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Making the transition from making eye contact to taking things to the next step which is starting a conversation can be a daunting task. Whether you are looking to start a conversation with a stranger or someone you know well, there are a few key things to keep in mind.

It is important to remember that everyone is different, and what works for one person may not work for another. With the right approach, however, you can make the transition from making eye contact to starting a conversation with confidence and ease. 

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In this article, we will discuss some tips and techniques for making the move from making eye contact to starting a conversation and offer some insight into why it can sometimes seem so difficult. Whether you are a natural conversationalist or someone who is shy and introverted, you can learn to make the move from making eye contact to starting a conversation. 

Tips for Making the Move

1) Preparation

The first thing you will want to do is make sure you are prepared. You do not want to be so nervous that you freeze, nor do you want to be so focused on what you are going to say that you are unable to say anything at all. 

Nervousness is normal, and you do not want to try to avoid it altogether. Instead, you want to acknowledge it, channel it in a positive way, and use it as a tool to help you make the transition from making eye contact to starting a conversation. 

A few things you can do to prepare include:

  • Make a mental note of the conversation starters and conversation topics that come to mind when you make eye contact with someone. This can help you focus and channel your nervous energy in a positive way. 
  • Practice what you are going to say in your head. This will help you focus your attention on the conversation starter you have chosen and help you avoid becoming tongue-tied. 
  • Visualize yourself starting conversations with confidence. This will help you prepare for that first conversation and help you channel your nervous energy in a positive way. 

2) Confidence 

One of the most important things you can do to make the transition from making eye contact to starting a conversation is to show confidence. If you feel confident, others will notice, trust your confidence, and respond positively to it. 

There are a few things you can do to show confidence, including:

  • Make eye contact: When you make eye contact with someone you want to start a conversation with, show confidence by holding their gaze. If you feel uncomfortable holding eye contact, blink regularly so as not to come across as confrontational. 
  • Stand confidently: If you are standing when you want to make the transition from making eye contact to starting a conversation, stand with confidence by placing one foot slightly in front of the other, keeping your back straight, and holding your head up. 
  • Project your voice: When you want to make the transition from making eye contact to starting a conversation, project your voice so that the other person can hear you clearly and confidently. 

3) Body Language

Not only do you want to show confidence when you make the transition from making eye contact to starting a conversation, but you also want to make sure your body language is open and inviting. By doing so, you will help the other person feel comfortable and make it easier for them to engage in the conversation. 

There are a few things you can do to make your body language more open and inviting when you want to make the transition from making eye contact to starting a conversation, including: 

  • Stand or sit with an open posture: If you are sitting, keep your legs uncrossed and your hands visible by placing them on your knees. If you are standing, keep your feet shoulder-width apart and your hands open by your sides. 
  • Keep your hands visible: When you want to make the transition from making eye contact to starting a conversation, keep your hands visible by placing them on your thighs or knees instead of keeping them in your pockets. 
  • Do not cross your arms: When you want to make the transition from making eye contact to starting a conversation, avoid crossing your arms. Crossing your arms across your chest sends the message that you are closed off and not open to a conversation. 

4) The Right Approach

The right approach will vary depending on the situation. There are a few things to keep in mind when deciding how to approach someone, including: 

  • Do not interrupt: If you are trying to approach someone who is in the middle of a conversation, do not interrupt. Wait for a natural break in the conversation and then approach with confidence. 
  • Do not linger too long: If someone is engaged in a conversation and you want to approach, do not linger too long. Instead, wait for a natural break in the conversation, approach with confidence, and introduce yourself. 
  • Be yourself: When you want to make the transition from making eye contact to starting a conversation, do not try to force a conversation if the other person is not interested. Instead, be yourself and approach naturally. If the other person is interested, they will let you know.

Knowing When to Make the Move

Making the transition from making eye contact to starting a conversation is easier when you know when to make the move. The perfect time to start a conversation is when you and your intended conversation partner are engaged in something. For example, if you are both standing in line at the coffee shop, you can both share your opinions on the weather.

Another great way to ease into a conversation is to ask a question. Asking a question gives the other person an opportunity to share his or her thoughts and opinions and it will give you an easy segue into starting your own conversation. 

Another important thing to keep in mind is that you do not want to be overly aggressive when it comes to making the transition from making eye contact to starting a conversation. You do not want to be the person interrupting someone in the middle of a conversation, or the person who is constantly inserting themselves into other people’s conversations. Interrupting and butting into conversations is a big no-no. Instead, find ways to ease into a conversation by joining in on existing conversations where possible.

How to Keep the Conversation Going

If you find yourself in a lull during a conversation, there are plenty of things you can do to keep the conversation going. First, if you are in a lull, try to identify why the lull is happening. Is it because the other person does not want to talk about their interests?

Are they not comfortable with the topic? If this is the case, you do not want to force the conversation. Instead, try to re-direct the conversation to a topic the other person is interested in and re-engage them in the conversation. 

Another great way to keep a conversation going is to ask follow-up questions. You can do this by asking follow-up questions regarding the topic of conversation or the other person themselves. Be careful not to overdo it, however.

You do not want to come off as interrogating the other person. Instead, use follow-up questions as a way to engage the other person in conversation and get them talking about themselves.

How to end a conversation gracefully

Ending a conversation gracefully is almost as important as starting a conversation in the first place. The best way to end a conversation is to re-direct the conversation toward its natural conclusion.

For example, if you are talking to someone at a coffee shop and the topic of conversation is coffee, you can end the conversation by asking them where they buy their coffee from or if they have any recommendations. 

Another great way to end a conversation gracefully is to give the other person a genuine compliment. This way, you can end the conversation on a high note and you can be sure the other person will walk away feeling good about the conversation. 

Another important thing to keep in mind when ending a conversation gracefully is to avoid the urge to just walk away. It is important to thank the other person for their time and end the conversation with some parting words. This will show the other person that you appreciate their time and that you’re conscious of the fact that you want to end the conversation gracefully.

Conclusion

Eye contact is a powerful tool for making connections and meeting new people. It is the first step in assessing a person’s interest and can be the beginning of a conversation. But how you go from making eye contact to actually starting a conversation makes the difference.

It can seem intimidating, but it does not have to be. With the right attitude, body language, and a few conversation starters, you can go from looking someone in the eye to having an engaging conversation with them.

With a little practice and some confidence, and the tips from this article, we believe you will be able to take it to the next level.