When a Guy Asks You out for Coffee. A Date? How to Respond?

OCT 11, 2022 AT 08:34 AM


Today’s world is a bit crazy in everything that has something to do with romance. People tend to find each other on Tinder, they rely on artificial intelligence to match them with other people and they have no time for dating. A lot of young people just want to wake up already having a loving family, beautiful kids, a wonderful partner, and a happy life.

But we still have to go dating before we decide that a certain person is really our match. We are going to live with this person for the major part of our lives, so the choice is extremely important.


Today, we are going to discuss what it means when a guy asks you out for coffee. Can you consider this a date? How should you respond to such an invitation? We know something you should always use when someone asks you out for coffee.

What does it mean if someone asks you out for coffee?

Twenty years ago, people asked someone out to a restaurant to have a good dinner and talk about possible romantic relationships. But today things have changed. People don’t tend to go to restaurants on dates. It’s expensive, old-fashioned, boring, and in most cases, it doesn’t allow you to talk to each other.

Cafes are also a bad choice for a romantic first date, so it’s still quite hard to imagine a successful date in a café with just a cup of coffee on your table.

So, we suppose if a guy asks a girl out for coffee, in this case, coffee means just a reason to go somewhere. Maybe, you will just grab your coffee at Starbucks and sit in the local cozy park on a wooden bench to talk and get to know each other better. This first date option seems better than going to a crowded café.

Anyway, when someone asks you for coffee, he should mean date, of course. But first of all, you should remember that other reasons are more than possible:

  • just a small talk about business;
  • bad news from your employer or manager;
  • a talk about some awkward topic like your behavior in the office, for example;
  • just a friendly coffee in the park to get to know each other better;
  • the start of something more interesting like romantic relationships.

So, before you get the best dress out of your wardrobe, make sure this person will not have any other reason to ask you out for coffee, just dating. We still don’t recommend dressing up a lot because this may be the wrong reason. Like your boss may want to fire you in a café rather than in the office.

Your beautiful dress will not be appropriate even if this guy actually means a date with you. Going out for coffee should mean you can wear casual everyday clothes. Of course, you will want to be more beautiful but be careful and overdo with your outfit.

Why do guys tend to ask out for coffee when they want a date with you?

Unfortunately, guys are becoming more and more modest and shy when it comes to asking out a girl. They would be glad to ask you out to the best restaurant in the city but they are afraid to get a refusal. So, when they ask you out, they tend to make it look like a friendly offer to drink a cup of coffee in the afternoon.

In fact, a lot of guys now use this trick. If they ask you out to a wonderful restaurant or to a theatre and they get your refusal, this will be considered as their defeat. But if they get a refusal for a coffee break with you, this makes just nothing bad and they still have the chance to hit on you after some time.

Even Tinder guys now tend to ask girls out to cafes or bars rather than to restaurants. It’s not only because restaurants are expensive. It’s just because they will not suffer that much if something goes wrong.

It’s only up to you to decide whether this invitation is worth paying attention to. But we should say, not a lot of guys are actually ready to make any better steps before they are sure you will like them.

How to respond when a guy asks you out for coffee?

It’s hard to give any advice in this situation. If you perfectly know that this guy wants to hit on you, you should understand that this will be a hard conversation, especially if you don’t like him. In this case, you should better avoid such dates at all costs.

But if you feel that the guy is not bad and can actually become your boyfriend, then why not try that? At least, you will drink a good coffee and will talk to an interesting person. Maybe, it’s your chance to build good relationships with someone you like.

But there are some red flags telling you to avoid any coffee-dates with the guy:

  • the guy has been hitting on you for a long time and you don’t want to have anything in common with him;
  • you hate this person and can’t imagine that you two can be together;
  • the guy is not nice to you and rather tells you what to do not asking your opinion about the date;
  • you absolutely don’t know this person and he is quite sticky with his offer to drink a cup of coffee together.

We know that some super persistent guys may seem like good partners in the future. They are confident, strong, pushy, etc. So, they can build a good career and make some money. But are you OK with this type of person? Will you be happy with such a husband in the future?

Another reason to avoid a guy is him being too shy and blushing when asking you out. These people aren’t going to open themselves from their best sides in relationships. Of course, if you still like this person, you can give him a chance.

How to prepare for your coffee-date?

Well, all the preparation shouldn’t be very hard for you. This is not an actual date because the guy only asked you out for coffee. So, you shouldn’t worry much about your outfit. Any casual clothes will be OK. What do you usually wear when you go to have a coffee in your favorite café with a friend? Just wear something like this.

But in some cases, guys may use this trick to ask you out for a coffee to actually go to a restaurant with you. If you are unsure of whether the guy has something like that in mind, you should just ask directly what kind of clothes you should wear. In many cases, this will save you from awkward situations.

One more important thing – don’t be too late for your coffee-date. If you are late for your official date in a restaurant or theatre, it’s OK and most guys will take it easy. But being late for a coffee is a bad idea.

You should worry much about how it all will be because this date is not an official date. And anytime you don’t like something, you may just leave. Remember to keep your own borders and limitations for a coffee-date.

Can you invite a guy for a coffee?

In today’s world, it’s more than possible. Even 10 years ago it might seem weird but now we see how women propose to their boyfriends to marry them and it’s not that weird actually. Men are not very confident and sometimes prefer waiting and seeing where it will all come to. But women know what they want and may do everything without waiting or hinting.

Asking someone out for coffee is a good idea. You will not create this feeling of something big but you will have the opportunity to talk to someone you like and maybe tell him about your feelings.