Why Do Girls Hug Guys Over the Shoulders? Unexpected Answer

OCT 11, 2022 AT 06:32 AM


You may have seen people hugging on the street when they accidentally meet each other or come on a date. In most cases, guys will hug around the waist of their women while females tend to hug around the shoulders. But why is that? Have you ever thought about it? When thinking logically, you may find the answer in psychology and maybe in height difference things. But today, we offer a more detailed investigation.

In this article, we’ll tell you why girls hug guys over the shoulders and guys tend to hug over the waist. And the answers will not be that obvious.


Of course, there are still some arguments in this sphere and specialists in different fields have their own explanations. We’ve found a couple of the most interesting possible explanations for this phenomenon and we are pretty sure one of them is the issue.

Do girls always hug guys over their shoulders?

No, they don’t do that always. You may also have seen couples hugging in different manners. This is because a lot of factors work on our subconscious mind and we tend to move our hands and body the way our instincts tell us to do that.

Here are some factors that may stop a girl from hugging a guy over the shoulders:

  • the girl is not even thinking of any romantic relationship with this guy – she may hug him in whatever way is more convenient according to her height and body position;
  • the guy was too quick and hugged the girl over her shoulders showing that he is not seeking any romantic relationship with this girl;
  • the height difference is too big and this makes the girl hug over the guy’s waist, not shoulders;
  • the girl was taken by surprise and just physically couldn’t put her arms over the guy’s shoulders.

In all other ways, the girl will subconsciously want to hug the guy over his shoulders. If we take psychology, this will be explained by her subconscious mind and instincts.

If the girl hugs someone like that, she basically opens her body and is unprotected, so it means she feels totally safe when she hugs this guy. Also, she lets the guy hug her around her waist making it a more intimate moment. Sometimes, this becomes just a habit and women keep hugging all men like that. But initially, it should mean openness of this woman.

Our answers to the girls hugging guys over shoulders

We’ve investigated all possible answers and explanations and come to some conclusions. It doesn’t mean that we tell the truth, it just means that we like these theories more than any other ones. And we obviously want you to get to know about these possible reasons.

1. Subconscious wish to have a romantic relationship with this guy

You may have noticed how the same girl hugs different guys in different ways. She may hug three guys from one company with just one hand and then she hugs two other guys over the shoulders. Why do you think this may happen?

Our subconscious mind never sleeps. And it basically makes sure that all levels of satisfaction are completely harmonious in our life. It means if we don’t have any romantic relationship or our partner is too bad for us, the subconscious mind keeps looking for another partner even though you personally may not know about this.

It means you will subconsciously assess other people in terms of whether they are good as partners. And your mind will make quick decisions according to all information it has about a certain person. For example, appearance, behavior, smile, voice, gestures, etc. The more you know about a certain person, the more confidently your mind may decide that he should be your partner.

This will make you hug this guy over his shoulders and let him hug you around your waist. What’s more, you can do this trick with several guys until you finally find someone who will understand this small gesture and will react.

This is an insane explanation of how our subconscious mind works when we need a partner. But this works and you may make sure just by watching different girls hugging their friends.

2. The subconscious wish to check the guy

What do girls like in guys? Will they love a person at the first glance if this person has a weak body, bent neck, small shoulders, and no muscles? Unfortunately, not. They will ignore such a guy, not because they are overproud, but because they have natural instincts.

Women seek defense in men. They want their potential partner to be able to find food and build a shelter in the forest. They want the guy to be strong enough to protect her from wild animals. Yes, this is quite silly because we don’t live in a world where all of these features would be still necessary. But we can’t change nature and instincts.

It means that by hugging a guy over the shoulders, a girl can check whether he is really strong and muscular or it’s all about a good choice of clothes. By hugging a guy, a woman instinctively checks whether his shoulders are powerful enough. This is easy to feel that way.

Of course, we don’t think any woman in the world would do that consciously. This is what instincts make us do all the time – we do something that we don’t understand but the subconscious mind registers everything and makes sure your potential partner is good enough.

3. The girl intends to kiss this guy

Most girls are a little shorter than guys. By hugging them over the shoulders, they may comfortably lean over the guy’s chest or help themselves raise a little to have easier access to lips. It means girls try to become a little taller to feel comfortable with guys. Whereas guys hug them around their waists and help them raise a little.

This theory has something to do with both psychology and physiology, so it sounds like a solid explanation. But of course, the majority of our readers will argue with that, as well as with all previous theories.

And the truth is no one knows why this happens, so we just try to find some decent explanation that would be more believable than some average thought about this phenomenon.

What can it mean if one girl hugs another girl over her shoulders?

This means nothing and there are two possible explanations.

First: girls weren’t supposed to hug other girls and this tradition is relatively new to society – just hundreds of years. So, the girl who approaches another girl faster hugs over the shoulders because this is how they are used to hugging. The other girl just quickly rearranges and hugs her friend around her waist.

Second: the girl who is shorter hugs over the shoulders while the one who is taller hugs over the waist. This has no logic in it, but it really works – you may see it when watching girls hugging out there. Maybe, this is evidence proving that girls hug guys over their shoulders to seem taller than they are.

Why do girls love hugging?

Some studies show that girls are just more affectionate than guys and this makes them hug their friends, parents, siblings, dogs, etc. every time they meet them. It doesn’t mean men don’t like hugging.

Hugging a person you love will boost the oxytocin hormone in your body and will help you relax muscles and relieve stress. That’s why we tend to hug people we love every time something bad happens and we want to support them.

So, hugging is actually a great way to get rid of stress and also to make closer contact with a person you like. So, keep hugging and never think of why you put your hands in a certain place.